Identity.
When was the last time you really thought about Who am I? and Who do I want to become?
Before we decide who we want to become, we need to know—Who am I? What does that even mean? This whole idea of identity.
Identity is about our experiences, our beliefs, our values—our embodied values—as well as our cultural background and social roles. Really, everything that has contributed to who you are today.
When I'm working with my clients, a lot of the work we do is around identity.
To create this dream life that I want, who do I need to become?
We have to go through this process of shedding the old identity and stepping into a new one.
So how do you know you're in this transition—leaving the old, moving into the new?
The milestones in this process of becoming
There are 4 stages, or milestones, you’ll experience in the process of becoming.
#1 Awareness
What used to fulfill you or bring you joy… doesn’t really do that anymore. You feel stuck in a box—like no matter what you try, it doesn’t work.
This is the first sign: that this current version of you isn’t aligned with where you want to go.
#2 Discovery
Then, you begin to explore. You start learning, discovering new possibilities, using your imagination. You're getting to know who you might want to become.
#3 Letting go
This includes grief. Because who you’ve been has mattered. It got you here.
But now you're changing:
Who you spend time with
Where you live
What kind of work you do
What brings you joy
There's a pull between the old and the new. And then comes...
#4 Becoming a new version of you.
You’re changing your beliefs.
Embodying new or aspirational values.
Choosing new social roles.
Creating new experiences.
The in-between—the shedding process.
But what happens when you feel stuck between the two?
On one side, you have the old you—familiar, comfortable. On the other, a new you—exciting, but also scary.
And so begins the loop:
You start to move forward, but then slip back into old habits.
This is normal. It’s part of the process.
Your identity is reorganizing—figuring out what to keep and what to release.
This liminal space? I call it the shedding process.
You’re shedding parts of the old to make room for the new. And this will happen again and again in life. We’re always evolving.
3 ways to move through the shedding process
Top ways to dance through the shedding process.
Connect to your unbounded self.
Do this 3–5 times a week. Think of it like dating someone new—you need to spend time with them to get to know them.
Your unbounded self is the most authentic, grounded, powerful version of you. Tune into how they:
– Feel in your body to find the somatic anchors
– Make decisions
– Move through the world
If you can access them—they already exist in you. Now, it’s about integrating them into your life.
Reflect on what's holding you back and what's propelling you forward.
What fears, beliefs, or habits are keeping you stuck?
What inspires you to grow?
What’s pulling you forward—and what support do you need?
Be kind. Take your time.
Becoming isn't a race. Let it be a joyful unfolding.
It’s not about cutting parts out of yourself—it's about evolving with care.
Type A folks often want to force change. But this is about surrender.
Struggling between versions of yourself? Let that be a signal: it's time to offer yourself compassion. Reach out to others who are in the process of becoming, too.
I hope this was helpful. Let me know what you think in the comments.
Ciao, ciao for now!
Whenever you're ready, here's how I can help:
→ Start with free resources I’ve created. This includes the:
art of vision crafting template for dream life design
cultivating clarity toolkit for embodied decision-making
unbounded self kickoff for onboarding new team members
→ Get your CALM Quotient (CQ). In 5 minutes, uncover your unique nervous system patterns, the greatest areas of growth opportunity, and one practice to start reclaiming calm.
→ Accelerate your path to sustainable success and fulfillment with Private Coaching. You’ve achieved success on paper, but you know there’s more waiting for you. You want:
more clarity. Design your dream life, make bold decisions, and take aligned action with self-trust and more energy.
more calm. Transform limiting patterns and access your unbounded self to create unshakeable inner peace, confidence, presence, and intuition.
more joy. Wake up every morning thinking, "I f*cking LOVE my life." Yes, the F word. Yes, all caps. Joy is everywhere. Your life is more meaningful.
more wealth. Expand beyond financial wealth and find holistic abundance. Wealth in time, energy, connection, freedom, and [fill in the blank].
Does this resonate? Book a complimentary awakening conversation to see if coaching is right for you.
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